Your Casino, Everywhere
While corporate-owned casinos snuggle with politicians and make execs piles of money, now is your chance to own a piece of a decentralized casino where you earn part of the profits!
It was a little past 4 am, and I laid another $300 on the table. The dealer, who hadn’t spoken a word for the past twenty minutes, yelled to her pit boss, “300.” The pit boss looked at the stacks of chips equalling 300 and nodded. With my replenished chip stack, the game was back on.
“If I could hit this seven-card straight flush, I’d be back in business.” I delusionally thought. I was playing Face Up Pai Gow Poker, a casino game with many pushes where you tie the dealer. I knew the odds were terrible for hitting a seven-card straight flush, but I could potentially win $205,000 if I hit it. I have played enough Blackjack, Craps, and Roulette for two lifetimes, so it was fun to try a new game.
You can probably guess, but I never hit my seven-card straight flush. The closest I came was a four-card diamond straight flush which paid a slight bonus because I could complete my flush with a king of diamonds.
I looked up the odds of hitting the seven-card straight flush the following day. It is 1 out of 4+ million. Maybe, it’s a little higher in Face Up Pai Gow because there is a joker. But that $205,000 Progressive Jackpot kept me glued to the table.
It didn’t take too long for me to lose my $300. My luck was terrible. That seems to be the story of my casino visits for the past 20 years. The only game I’ve been able to walk away with some money at is Texas Hold ’Em, where I’m playing against live people instead of a stacked house advantage. But, even poker has beaten me down.
After losing the $300, I revisited the ATM, withdrew another $300, and went to the Craps table. After breaking even in Craps, I went to Ultimate Texas Hold ’Em. Unfortunately, I lost the remainder of my chips and ended up leaving the casino at 8:30 am.
I drew the same conclusion that I always draw after going to the casino: gambling is stupid. My grandfather said the smartest bet is to walk in and bet odd or even at the Roulette table with your entire stack and walk out…