Here’s how to get me to watch Logan Paul-Floyd Mayweather II

I was one of the morons who woke up today and owned up to the fact that I paid $50 twice to watch the worst boxing match of all time. I had some friends over (all vaccinated) as my wife thought it would be a great way to celebrate my birthday. I bought the fight on Showtime’s app, but it stopped working right on queue so I had to buy it a second time from my cable provider. “At least I will get some redemption for having wasted $50 to watch Logan’s brother, Jake, knock out washed up and out of shape Ben Askren in April in less than one minute,” I thought to myself. I am not a huge Mayweather fan as a person, but he is a tremendous boxer and his career speaks for itself having never lost a professional bout.

If you didn’t catch the fight, I’m jealous of you. Nothing happened except that Paul wore himself out and Mayweather danced around for 8 rounds. My niece’s youth soccer games are more competitive and action-packed. It was obvious that somewhere in the contract it was agreed that Mayweather just had to show up and not hurt Paul. The Gigachad Generation Z hero (?) did get through 8 rounds and clearly trained, but the most noteworthy aspect of the fight was that he wore a Pokemon card around his neck when he came to the ring and the camera shots of Mayweather’s family doing a great job pretending to be concerned for their fighter while the…